49/100. Strange, isn’t it? What we retain from our families without realizing it? Even when we discard or reject a thought, a belief, a system, how some traces stay on?

I am decidedly an agnostic. Organised religion and its rituals have always made me a little uncomfortable. Strange, when my family was like most other families around me when I was growing up – firmly rooted in their faith and cheerily accepting of others’. But so it was.

As I grew older and life started throwing up more and more challenges, I often missed the anchor that the rituals of faith provide one. But, since I never felt it ‘inside’, I remained outside that circle.
What I didn’t realise was that I was slowly building up a set of rituals myself. Which had to do with MY own personal faith. Which kept me rooted and sane. And a few of those, unconsciously, were borrowed from my mother and her mother before her.
Ever since I can remember, I have seen them walk out of a shower straight to whatever little bit of green we had at that point of time, pluck a few flowers and go straight to the puja room for their prayers. I don’t pray in front of an altar. I don’t have an altar. But, every day, right after my bath, I walk out to our terrace and pluck the few flowers or foliage I want to take indoors. And I use a brass ‘shaaji’ – a special kind of container used in Bengal to keep flowers plucked for puja – that has been in our family for generations. The fifteen minutes I spend with my plants and in using their gifts to bring fragrant freshness to our living spaces is my ‘calm-time’. And, I realise, as much a ritual of faith as was my mother’s and my grandmothers.

This particular day, I was supposed to go out with a friend for Sunday lunch, and I chose this sky-blue Maheshwari to wear with my golden Chanderi top. The plan was to get photographed once I was all set to leave, but my domestic help clicked these photographs and then requested me to use these for the story. Once I saw the pictures, I realised what the story was. Fitting then, that this saree was gifted to me by my mother about 14 years ago.

Faith in family. My forever circle…